Various lulz spawning from my High School Career

So, I'm a high school student now. And as a high school student, I get to meet a variety of people. Right now, I plan on telling you a bit about those people.

That one girl from my AP Math class

So, I was in my AP Math class, and our teacher was playing this game that involved him drawing a certain number of circles on the board and as a class, we could erase either one, two or three of them at a time. So, this girl pipes up "Wait! Isn't one the same as three?"

No. No it's not.

People taking credit for things that I say.

This again has something to do with the girl mentioned above.

I'll say something REALLY SMART but then the teacher won't hear me right? So what do the people sitting at the front of the class do? REPEAT IT. What does the teacher do? PRAISE THEM. I'm sitting in the back corner of the class, doing my work like a good little girl and then the people at the front are the people the teacher can name.

Speaking of teachers who don't know my name,

I've got two teachers who I'm pretty sure don't know what my name is. My band teacher and my Math teacher.

Now, I realize that I'm a big girl going to a big girl school now and not everybody can know my name, but I think that once I'm in THREE of somebody's classes, that's enough for them to learn what my name is WITHOUT looking at a list don't you think? I mean, don't get me wrong, my band teacher is a pretty cool guy, and I like him and all, but life's easier if you know the alto's name instead of just calling them "alto" because when we have full rehearsals and there's more than one alto sax, he's screwed. Actually, no, he's not because he can just point to me. It's easy enough seeing as I'm usually sitting on the very end of the row. And when I'm playing my guitar in the "Rock Band" course that happens after school, he just refers to me as "a girl" or he just points. I give him another month.

Math isn't so bad, seeing as our teacher doesn't really need to know our names to be able to teach us math. That's all I have to say about that.

Unexpectedly high grades

This has happened in a few subjects. AP English being one of them. I have an 88 % average in that class right now and I have no clue how. English is my worst subject, but I can write and I suppose I have that to my advantage. But seriously, when it comes to reading comprehension and literary analysis I am a complete dunce. (But apparently not seeing as those are the sections I seem to be doing well on.)

Also, music. We just had our music midterm right after I switched to the Alto Saxophone. Therefore I had to relearn almost all of the midterm material (Actually, no because I hadn't really started looking at it on flute yet) in the few weeks I had before the exam. You know what? I passed that exam with honors. I have no clue how, but I guess I'm just that AWESOME.

Nothing to do with school, but important to me.

So, I went to the optometrist today to get my eyes checked and you know what he said? "Your eyes are completely the same, you don't need new glasses :D!"

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! I fell in love with a pair of frames before my appointment and now you're telling me that I can't get new ones! Bull crap. Our benefits won't cover new glasses if the prescription hasn't changed and so now I have to live with my current ones that don't look half bad anyways.

Another thing.

My hair is now black and red.

It took two and a half hours to complete.

It's gorgeous.

/post

HIGH SCHOOL

So, in one week from today I will be a freshman in High School. Since I'll be a freshman, I had to go register. It was a good day for me to register since I could have first pick of all the classes I needed to transfer to. After fixing my courses, it was time to get my ID picture taken. The photographer was a pretty cool guy but he messed up my picture by putting a purple background instead of a red one like I had asked. So whatever, they were cool about it and fixed it. BUT ONLY A LITTLE BIT. You see, I have braces so I decided "You know, I don't really like my smile, let's try to smile with my mouth closed!" Since I'm getting my braces off before the year is out, this seemed like a good plan. INSTEAD I ended up trying not to LAUGH and the new picture (That's going to end up going to my family) looks worse than the original. But on the upside, I get TWO ID's. At my school, you actually need ID's there if you want to use the library or if teachers need to access your file. So I can choose which one I like better one day and use it WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT. However, I think the guy should have shown me my picture before he printed the ID off so I could say I liked it or didn't like it. I mean, not just for me but for everybody, no?

NEW PARAGRAPH IN ORDER TO DESCRIBE A DIFFERENT LINEUP.
So then we got in the lineup that takes us to pay our school fees. THIS LINEUP TOOK ONE HOUR TO GET THROUGH. I don't know what made it so freaking complicated. There were 4 desks, and a little more than 250 kids to register that day (They did it by grade, y'see.) It was so painful. THEN we went to the "Book Room" and I had to wait to get my textbooks (Which didn't take that long) But I think they missed my Biology 20 book which is no big deal since I don't need it until second semester. But they missed it D:

Oiy. I don't feel like writing anymore. I just figured I'd update all 4 of you on what's going on.

It's been a long time since we've spoken last.

Xbox LIVE.
Have I talked about it yet? No? Good!
I bought a years worth of Xbox LIVE yesterday. It's cheaper than World of Warcraft and you can play more than one game online so I thought "Why not?" right? I'm having second thoughts guys. The people who are on my Xbox friends list don't really like me whereas the people on my WoW friends list care at least a little bit. My Xbox "friends" make fun of how bad I am at video games whenever they can. My WoW friends? They encourage me to get better and would even follow me around for an hour to make sure I don't die while fighting level 11 bears. (I just started the game, by the way)I haven't talked to my Xbox friends in a month or so, so I don't know if they're the same, but I'm not. Since school ended, I'm a totally different person. I don't find the humor in my abysmal Kill/Death ratio any more. I don't care, even. I can't play Xbox for hours on end any more. Last night, I got bored after half an hour. Who knows, maybe they've grown up too. However, I doubt it.

On another note. I made a new YouTube channel. Why? It was really really annoying to have to sign into my gmail and my blogger accounts with one email, and then my YouTube with another. I decided to make the new YouTube with my gmail account so everything is synchronized you know? Of course I'm leaving behind 40 something favorites and one subscriber, but I think I'll get over it.

JUSTIN BIEBUUR.
I don't care for Justin Bieber. In my opinion, he sounds like a girl. An autotuned girl. Sure, some of his songs are catchy, and they're okay pop songs, but I don't listen to pop music. (Holy Crap I am blind as a bat without my glasses) I admire how he achieved mainstream success using YouTube, but I can't see anything special about him. He's not that good looking either. I don't understand how he's OMG SOOOOO HAWT 11!!!11!1ONE!!!!!F!!!!5!11! Just no. No no no no no. Just no. And that song? Baby? How is that the MOST VIEWED VIDEO ON YOUTUBE? "AND I WAS LIEK BABY BABY BABY BAAAWWWW BABY BABY BABY BAAW" NO. PLEASE NO. You don't need much musical "Talent" to figure out how to write a song like that. Just saying.

I need to figure more topics out. I like doing this but I'm just out of ideas.

Vent.

So. After months and months of not trying very hard, I got ventrilo on my computer. This is a huge achievement. For months the program was telling me "FILE CORRUPT GTFO" and it made me very sad because I was downloading it from their website so there was no way that the file was simply broken.

So tonight I decided that I'd be one of the cool kids and try until I got it. Try as I might it still didn't work. Disappoint, I googled in vain and it seemed that nobody had my answer. Defeated, I went to yahoo answers and started to type my question and I had an epiphany. I am using the best internet browser in the world. I decided to try and close Firefox and try downloading it in Internet Explorer. AND IT WORKED. Seriously, it was the most glorious thing I had ever seen. But it raises the question: If Mozilla Firefox is the best internet browser ever, then why don't these publishers cater to it? Are they unable to bask in firefox's glory? CAN THEY NOT HANDLE THE FURY?

That's really all I wanted to say tonight. It's short but when there's only 4 of you following me, I'm not motivated to write much.

DID YOU MISS ME?

Probably not.
But whatever.

Let's jump into today's topic.
CARNIVALS :D

So yesterday, I went to our towns fair. Since we're a big city, we just get that one that travels all across North America. It's pretty awesome actually. But the kind of sad thing is that they recently changed the name to "Capital Ex" and while I've adapted and now call it that, "Klondike Days" (Or kdays, as the awesome people called it" IS NO MOAR. And you know what? It was WAY COOLER. It just made us sound more legit. But NOOOOOOOOO. Call it some super gay preppy modern name so Calgary has a reason to be MOAR BETTER THAN US. And I actually do think that Calgary is better than us. Their city's nicer, their hockey team's better and their fair's better. But I still love Edmonton. A lot. :D OFF TOPIC. So, I managed to only net 82 calories yesterday, since I walked for like 10 hours and didn't eat very much. (Woah, way to kick me off the internet COMPUTER!) AND. I won myself a Shinx :D. I didn't need a boyfriend to get it, I got it in only 3 tries (And I won twice since you had to trade up for it) and I was playing that really awesome water gun game. I honestly think that I won because of my experience with FPS. Oh wait, I suck at fps. Nevermind. And you know those ride all day wristbands? I haven't taken mine off yet. It reminds me too much of bbq :D. And you know what's horrible? At 10:30 at night, we decided "Hey, let's go on that bigass ferris wheel!" So we did. And you know what was right next to it? The drop of fear. Now, If you've never heard of this ride, I need to explain it to you. You sit in your seat, and it takes you to the top of a tower. (It's like a pentagon of about 10 seats) And your fate is basically in the hands of the guy way below. Now, you're hanging there waiting to drop from god knows how many feet and you start to panic, thinking you're STUCK. Now, of course you're not stuck and the guy eventually presses the button and it drops in about 2 seconds. The split second before it drops, it makes the sound of the tower releasing the pentagon thing. It is the worst sound in the history of the universe because it is so terrifying. ANYWAYS. We're on this ferris wheel. And this thing is almost as high as this tower. And the drop of fear goes pretty fast so it's going CONSTANTLY. We're stuck at the top of this ferris wheel and WE HEAR THAT DROPPING NOISE 10 TIMES. I am terrified of heights. So every time I heard this noise, I thought we were dead. But we're not of course. And after we get off, my friend Christian asks the attendant "So uh, why do those things twist?" The guy calmly replies "Oh, you were unscrewing it." Wat.

And I just thought I'd say that I love my shinx like my secondborn child (First being my guitar) and I've decided to name him Broseph. I'm very proud of him.

Friend.

So, I haven't updated in a few days.
But it's not like anybody cares (Except for Mike, thanks Mike) but whatever.

So I'm at a friends house.
I haven't been to her house in a crazy long time because let's just say that lots went down since I'd last been there so I was a little nervous. So whatever, we got there and then there were FIVE CARS IN THEIR DRIVEWAY. Let me mention that whenever I'm around a friend's family I get EXTREMELY NERVOUS. So apparently her stepdad's mom and aunt were there. GREEEEEAT. Apparently her stepdad's mom is satan on Earth so my heart literally comes up in my throat because I was so nervous. (I'd like to mention right now that the last draft of this autosaved at 8:32PM. It's 8:31.) And I should also put out there that I am very socially awkward. If I am uncomfortable in a situation (Haven't been there in a very long time, meeting people for the first time, talking to a friend's parents ETCETERA.) I will not have any idea whatsoever to do with myself. My brain CAN AND WILL stop working. So I say stupid things. Really really really really really really really really really really really really really really stupid things. (If I signed onto msn on her computer, I wonder if she'd notice) Also, her family was eating dinner. I am an extremely picky eater. Her parents don't bother feeding me anymore (Thank god) or else it would have been a complete and total disaster. Anyways, we ended up eating alphagetti. It was amazing.

Another thing about my friends house. I had to go to the bathroom. Now, I know there's nothing special about that but her bathroom is weird. Let me expound. I had finished doing what I had gone to do and wet my hands, thinking that would be enough. However, I noticed the soap dispenser and had a second thought. I decided that it would be best if I were to wash my hands after all. I pumped the soap dispenser expecting perfectly normal soap only to find that her soap had been replaced by alien slime! Alarmed, I washed the stuff off of my hands as soon as I possibly could only to find that her door had locked on me! After struggling with the door for a matter of seconds I managed to free myself. And then I ate some trail mix.

Oh man, I really don't feel like writing any more. And I know that this was totally unfunny. Meh.

Leather Pants

Good Evening.

Tomorrow I am going camping. I've been there before and the cell phone service SUCKS. Therefore no texty texty for me D: ALSO. I am devastated because I am missing Bro Day. Bro Day is a day where you hang out with your bros.

However, I had a make up bro day with my broski Christian. He is my broski and I love him as a broski. While in Wal Mart we were looking for nerf swords but they turned out to be too expensive. So instead we decided to wander around instead. He told me a story about a mutual friend of ours and him having an epic pool noodle fight in the middle of Wal-Mart. So he thinks it's a FABULOUS idea to take a pool noodle and hit me in the back of the head RIGHT IN FRONT OF SOME GRUMPY OLD LADY EMPLOYEE. To avoid being kicked out, we took an elaborate and complicated route out of the store. Afterwards, we went to EB Games (AKA Gamestop in our pants) and I saw somebody who worked at my old daycare. I said "Hi Karen" and Christian goes around and goes "Hi Karen" and I LOL'D because it was hilarious because he didn't know her. It's a you had to be there thing.

Okay, I'm going to shuffle my iPod.
Alibis by Marianas Trench, alright.
Wow, hourlong break right there

Take on Me gets me in the zone.

Anyways, I just tried to print 13 pages off. Don't ask why. IT TOOK ME HALF AN HOUR. Why? My printer decides it's a GREAT idea to take THE ENTIRE THING OF 50 PIECES OF PAPER AND TRY TO PRINT ON IT. Repeat for 20 minutes. The other 10 was the printer taking single pieces out and just letting them pass through without even printing on them. What's the point of that? You're Russian, why don't you tell me? WHY MUST YOU BE SO DIFFICULT YOU CHEAP HP PRINTER?? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY FUUUUUUUUUUU!

But I eventually printed it. It involved me clearing the paper jams and restarting the print job. I also had to cheer it on. That's right. This happens every time I print something. Which is why you don't buy 80 dollar printers.

You know what makes me a little angry? I DON'T eat lunch, therefore I eat a big dinner. AND THEN MY MOM BRINGS HOME A 700 CALORIE ICE CREAM. It was like "NOOOOOO!" And I'm going camping and bringing my iPod touch is out of the question so I'm a little nervous about it just because I might fall off of the wagon. (Doesn't really matter, I'm not losing any weight right now anyways.) And I HOPE TO GOD that there is nobody good looking there because me in a bathing suit isn't going to be pretty D: AND hopefully I can stay away from the ice cream there. Maybe I can eat veggies like a BIG girl!

Oh man, I really don't have anything to rant about. I'll write down some topics while camping and then discuss :)

Team Edwart.

I'm only going to discuss Twilight for one paragraph. I don't like Jacob. Or Taylor Lautner. Why? The former is annoying and the latter is ugly. Why do I think this? If Jacob did not exist Stephanie Meyer wouldn't have to write pages and pages and pages of useless crap about werewolves. I DON'T CARE. I don't want to read a chapter full of native american werewolf culture. Yes America, that's the only CULTURE you have. More on that later. I'd like to finish my thought. No, I actually skipped a whole bunch of parts (Specifically in Eclipse) because it was BORING. And the funny part? A werewolf obsessed ex best friend of mine YELLED AT ME because I skipped that specific part about werewolves and hand cutting and old native grandmothers. It was lulzy. You know what? I don't feel like talking about Twilight's plot because that would involve starting a new paragraph and I only wanted to use one because Twilight only deserves one. And that paragraph ends now.

AMERICAN CULTURE.
America, you don't have a culture. If McDonalds, racism, guns, financial depression and Fox News count as a culture then the above statement is wrong. America, there are people in your country who have a culture though, don't despair! You guys have Mexicans! That's right. Mexicans. The people with the swine flu. Anyways. I'm pretty sure the Mexican people have beliefs rooted in supernatural beings, so yeah. That's a culture. And what do I mean by that? An example would be the Day of the Dead. America calls it "Halloween". On the Day of the Dead, Mexicans create shrines to offer their stuff to dead relatives with the belief that they will be heard. America? You feed the growing obesity problem by sending children around to peddle for candy while in ridiculous costumes. Canada does it too, TRUST ME. I know how this goes down.

Okay. I just looked up the definition of culture. It's "The set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution, organization or group" Thank you Wikipedia. So disregard the above paragraph because America does have a culture. Remember the second sentence in the paragraph? THAT'S your culture. I have just proved myself wrong. Holy Crap.

Canada has a culture too. We A) Steal other people's cultures and claim it as "Multiculturalism" or B) America's culture without the guns, financial depression and Fox News. Oh, don't forget the free health care. That's pretty cool too.

How does America's new health care system work anyways? I'm confused about it. Is it like ours but less awesome?

NEW TOPIC BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT OUR PANTS ANYMORE.
So, I worked my fat self out yesterday. Did I mention that I'm losing weight? I think I did. Anyways. When you're so fat that 3 sets of lunges makes it impossible for you to bend down to talk to a kid at work, SOMETHING'S WRONG. But you see tomorrow I apparently should do it again since it's a "Good thing". Uh huh. I believe you, Web MD.com.

What are you thinking about you russian pedophile? Is this boring? Do you enjoy being called out on what you are?

It's really hard not to go back and edit this. I want this to be just me typing every thing that comes to my head.

Like now.
I think I wanted to mention that my weight is steadily dropping. (.2 pounds a day OH HELL YES.) And the fact that I lied about my weight when I got my drivers license. Cause I did. I think I underestimated by 5 pounds. Funny, no? Because now I need to lose something like 12 pounds to be the weight on my drivers license. D: (Oh, that's my goal by the way.) And you know what? Water should taste better. I understand that city water has all of this artificial crap in it but SERIOUSLY. Brb. Checking my Facebook. Yep, that inspired me a bit.

You know those Facebook fan pages? Am I the only one who makes a point out of NOT joining them? The next new Facebook layout needs to have an option to not see all of this crap. And the thing is, I think Facebook must have banned the pages on their site so now people ARE CREATING SITES FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF PEOPLE EXPRESSING THAT THEY WILL MAKE A WISH ON 11:11 ON 11/11/11. I. Do. Not. Care! SERIOUSLY. I DON'T CARE WHAT JACOB BLACK SAID IN TWILIGHT AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOU OPENING THE FRIDGE "even tho ur not hungry" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU MY CAPS LOCK IS LOUD!!!!!!!!
However I do agree that if Voldemort had gotten laid, none of this would have ever happened.


See what happens when one checks their Facebook? A paragraph!

Aw man. I feel like ending this.
I'm hungry.

/rant

Sup.

I don't really feel like giving an introduction because I don't know who you are. There are many different types of people on this earth. You could be one of those people from India, or you could be one of those American people. Perhaps you are British or Polish or Russian. Or maybe you're a pedophile. There really isn't a way of telling.

So, I started a blog today. I suppose that's interesting. I started a blog because I decided that maybe people would care about what I have to say because I really do have a lot to say. I say that we should respect the environment. I say that Facebook is NOT a computer skill. I say that Xbox 360 is better than PS3. I also think that the Edmonton Oilers should win the Stanley Cup again because that would be cool, but unfortunately, we suck. And I don't know why we suck, it could be because we just got a new coach, or maybe it's the fact that we stupidly traded Ryan Smyth (My favorite hockey player of all time) to some team who I can't remember at the moment.

Anyways, I'm not sure how I'm going to write this, I just intend to write how I speak: very quickly and with constant topic changes (Hence the name of the blog) I really don't want to let my perfectionism get in the way of writing what I think, because maybe I'll make somebody laugh. That's the ultimate goal.

I've changed my mind, maybe I will tell you a bit about myself, you russian pedophile.

I like Twitter.
I like Facebook.
I like Xbox LIVE. (And I need some more of that, my subscription ran out.)
I play a guitar with Hello Kitty on it. It's name is Kitty.
My Xbox has a name too, it's name is Joey the second. There was a Joey the first but he got the Red Ring of Death and then we tried to fix him but then my dad scratched the motherboard. It actually does work now but I have since gotten a new one, and my dad plays the old one. OFF TOPIC.
I'm trying to lose weight. It's not going very well.
Yes, this is how I would speak if I had a conversation with you.


That was boring and I don't want to do it anymore so I'm going to talk about my guitar. It's a Fender Squier Affinity Stratocaster and I like it. Like I said, it's got Hello Kitty on it and that is why I don't want to get a new, less crappy guitar. I mean if I knew how to paint a guitar, I'd get a new one in the future, but you see I don't know how and that expressionless Hello Kitty face is now a part of me. (Sounds stupid? I've got a Hello Kitty watch, a Hello Kitty guitar strap, a Hello Kitty purse and right now I have treated the blister that has formed on my thumb with a Hello Kitty band aid. Oh wait, that still sounds stupid.) BACK TO TOPIC. But if I knew how to paint a guitar (Or knew somebody who does), I'd probably save up for a really long time and then get a guitar with lots of features and stuff and then I'd get somebody to paint it up so it satisfies my Hello Kitty addiction. I like her.

Okay, let's change the topic again.
When I made this thing, I used a different url to it, but I didn't like it so I decided to change it. I swear to god, it took me 5 minutes to understand the CAPTCHA or whatever that thing is. Know what I'm talking about? That little box under EVERY sign up form that DOESN'T SPEAK HUMAN? The words were like "%(PO%$#@((U@#*&" And it was like "Yeah bud, that's a word." And I was like "NOOO IT'S NOT! D: D: D: D:" And I like that face. That D: face. I also like :D.

Moving on.
I'm kind of getting bored with this, I don't really have anything to rant about.

Oh wait, yes I do.
I went to the Orthodontist today. I think they should call it something different, perhaps something that means PAIN in latin. Whatever that is. I hadn't gone to see this lady in 2 months (Actually, she looks more like a man but her name is Nancy) and she sends one of her hygenists to start the appointment stuff. (Hygenist = Latin for "Minion") And let me just say that she sent her minion almost AN HOUR after they had sat me down in the seat. I mean sure I DID have Anne of Green Gables to read (Thanks to the iBooks app) but for serious, you'd think that they would put you in the chair when they were actually READY for you. And the worst thing is when they see you right away, sit you back to take the alastic things off of your teeth (Yeah broski, it's spelled alastics, don't ask me why. I call them the chains of DEATH, PAIN AND SUFFERING but that's only when they take them off.) and to do that they have to sit you back. So whatever they do that and then they LEAVE YOU IN SOME SORT OF 200 DEGREE ANGLE FOR ANOTHER HOUR BEFORE THE MAN COMES AND SEES YOU. But today wasn't one of those days. I read my book like a big girl and then told them I wanted blue and then yeah. But apparently I get them off in three to nine months. I think my teeth look ABSOLUTELY fine but they have to give me another x-ray to see when exactly.

To end the wall of text.
And have you ever gone to the dentist and gotten the full skull x-ray? "DON'T MOVE YOUR MOUTH!" That seriously makes me want to laugh. I mean sure I get the giggles all of the time but how can they not expect you to burst out laughing when there's this thing spinning around your head and singing a song? Oh, am I the only one?

Oh man, I could go on and on, but I think I will finish this post.
Goodbye Mr/Mrs Russian Pedophile.

/RANT.