Team Edwart.

I'm only going to discuss Twilight for one paragraph. I don't like Jacob. Or Taylor Lautner. Why? The former is annoying and the latter is ugly. Why do I think this? If Jacob did not exist Stephanie Meyer wouldn't have to write pages and pages and pages of useless crap about werewolves. I DON'T CARE. I don't want to read a chapter full of native american werewolf culture. Yes America, that's the only CULTURE you have. More on that later. I'd like to finish my thought. No, I actually skipped a whole bunch of parts (Specifically in Eclipse) because it was BORING. And the funny part? A werewolf obsessed ex best friend of mine YELLED AT ME because I skipped that specific part about werewolves and hand cutting and old native grandmothers. It was lulzy. You know what? I don't feel like talking about Twilight's plot because that would involve starting a new paragraph and I only wanted to use one because Twilight only deserves one. And that paragraph ends now.

AMERICAN CULTURE.
America, you don't have a culture. If McDonalds, racism, guns, financial depression and Fox News count as a culture then the above statement is wrong. America, there are people in your country who have a culture though, don't despair! You guys have Mexicans! That's right. Mexicans. The people with the swine flu. Anyways. I'm pretty sure the Mexican people have beliefs rooted in supernatural beings, so yeah. That's a culture. And what do I mean by that? An example would be the Day of the Dead. America calls it "Halloween". On the Day of the Dead, Mexicans create shrines to offer their stuff to dead relatives with the belief that they will be heard. America? You feed the growing obesity problem by sending children around to peddle for candy while in ridiculous costumes. Canada does it too, TRUST ME. I know how this goes down.

Okay. I just looked up the definition of culture. It's "The set of shared attitudes, values, goals, and practices that characterizes an institution, organization or group" Thank you Wikipedia. So disregard the above paragraph because America does have a culture. Remember the second sentence in the paragraph? THAT'S your culture. I have just proved myself wrong. Holy Crap.

Canada has a culture too. We A) Steal other people's cultures and claim it as "Multiculturalism" or B) America's culture without the guns, financial depression and Fox News. Oh, don't forget the free health care. That's pretty cool too.

How does America's new health care system work anyways? I'm confused about it. Is it like ours but less awesome?

NEW TOPIC BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT OUR PANTS ANYMORE.
So, I worked my fat self out yesterday. Did I mention that I'm losing weight? I think I did. Anyways. When you're so fat that 3 sets of lunges makes it impossible for you to bend down to talk to a kid at work, SOMETHING'S WRONG. But you see tomorrow I apparently should do it again since it's a "Good thing". Uh huh. I believe you, Web MD.com.

What are you thinking about you russian pedophile? Is this boring? Do you enjoy being called out on what you are?

It's really hard not to go back and edit this. I want this to be just me typing every thing that comes to my head.

Like now.
I think I wanted to mention that my weight is steadily dropping. (.2 pounds a day OH HELL YES.) And the fact that I lied about my weight when I got my drivers license. Cause I did. I think I underestimated by 5 pounds. Funny, no? Because now I need to lose something like 12 pounds to be the weight on my drivers license. D: (Oh, that's my goal by the way.) And you know what? Water should taste better. I understand that city water has all of this artificial crap in it but SERIOUSLY. Brb. Checking my Facebook. Yep, that inspired me a bit.

You know those Facebook fan pages? Am I the only one who makes a point out of NOT joining them? The next new Facebook layout needs to have an option to not see all of this crap. And the thing is, I think Facebook must have banned the pages on their site so now people ARE CREATING SITES FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF PEOPLE EXPRESSING THAT THEY WILL MAKE A WISH ON 11:11 ON 11/11/11. I. Do. Not. Care! SERIOUSLY. I DON'T CARE WHAT JACOB BLACK SAID IN TWILIGHT AND I DON'T WANT TO KNOW ABOUT YOU OPENING THE FRIDGE "even tho ur not hungry" FFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU MY CAPS LOCK IS LOUD!!!!!!!!
However I do agree that if Voldemort had gotten laid, none of this would have ever happened.


See what happens when one checks their Facebook? A paragraph!

Aw man. I feel like ending this.
I'm hungry.

/rant